Tallis for the Groom: Tips for the kallah shopping for her chassan

When a bride sets out to buy a tallis for the groom, whether she's looking for a nice, traditional black-striped tallis, or something with a bit of flare, she generally needs some guidance. Yesterday we received an inquiry from a bride in Massachussetts.

Hi Ben,
I'm shopping for a tallis as a gift to my fiance for my upcoming wedding. We're modern Orthodox Ashkenazim and prefer traditional, long talleisim. He has a blue-striped tallis already, so I was hoping for some recommendations for a tallis with black stripes. Thanks in advance!
Sharon

Since this is a fairly common request, I had no problem firing off a quick reply.

Here are my recommendations:

Chatanim - basic, no frills tallit; very high quality weave

Hamefoar - features a weave with a bit of texture, supple, luxurious fabric

Tashbetz - box weave to keep the tallit in place better on the shoulders; looks slightly more modern, and in my opinion, a bit less elegant

Kmo Turkish - a heavy, dense fabric and unique double-knotted fringes

Crown Tallis Bag

Sharon wound up choosing a Kmo with a Crown tallit bag. I always thought the crown on this tallit bag was meant to remind us of the King of Kings, but it may be especially apt for a groom, because the Gemara says a groom is like a king.

I remember many years ago, just before I got married and was setting up our soon-to-be apartment in Beitar Illit, a neighbor who was a young Torah scholar from the U.S. and a big tzaddik, found out I was a chassan and saw me shlepping a box up the stairs. He ran up and snatched it from my hands, insisting he would carry it for me, quoting that shtikel Gemara.

Tallis Sizes 

But then we needed to work out the proper tallis size. At 6 feet, Sharon's groom is not short. When the tallit wearer is under 5'6" it limits our selection, because then the groom would probably need a size 55 tallis and all of the models mentioned above, except for the Tashbetz, are only available in size 60 and up. I recommended she go with a size 70,which I recommend would hang down in back to about mid-thigh on him.

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Size 36 Tallit

Tallit sizing is standardized internationally, for the most part, but there's still plenty of room for confusion. If you're looking at the smaller tallit sizes, i.e. 24, 36, 45 and 50, there's an important distinction you need to understand.

Yesterday we received the following inquiry from a prospective tallit buyer:

I am considering my first adult tallit (I'm a recent convert). I stand about 5'9". I find full size traditional a bit large, but not to fussy on the scarf like shawls. Would a 36" fall somewhere in between? Thanks, Thom

I recommended to Thom that he choose either a size 36 or a size 50. Let me explain.

A size 24 tallit and a size 36 tallit are worn with all the tzitzit in front. It covers just the shoulders and upper back, and then wraps around the upper arms and hangs in front.

The larger tallit sizes, i.e. 45 for a 5' bar mitzvah boy, then 50, 55 and 60 for short and medium height men, and finally size 70 and 80 for tall men (and occasionally even a size 90), are all worn with two tzitzit hanging in front and two in back.

In halacha this is considered preferable, however there are two Jewish communities -- German Jews and Yemenite Jews -- that wear the tallit with all the tzitzit hanging in front. Both of these groups adhere very closely to traditional Jewish practice, and I'm not sure how to reconcile this with the halachic preference of two in the front and two in the back.

I'm 5'7" and my size 60 hangs down to mid-thigh on me. A size 50 is 8 inches shorter, so I would estimate it would hang down just below Thom's waist, and shouldn't be cumbersome at all.

More tallit sizing resources:
Tallit Size Wizard
Bar Mitzvah Tallit Sizes

Women and Tzitzit

I have written on the topic of women and tallit wearing, and women and tzitzit elsewhere...

Recently I came across a really wild -- and mistaken -- application of the concept of tzitzit on women. Every once in a while I see an unusual garment that would require tzitzit, but it never occurred to me that an apron is among them. But the mitzvah to attach tzizit only applies if you have more fabric than open space on the shoulders, i.e. if there are just strips of cloth on the shoulders, the mitzvah of tzitzit does not apply.

Recently I came across a fabulous apron by a talented designer who seems to be a bit misguided, because she went and attached tzitzit (!) to the otherwise fabulous apron she designed (see photo).

As long as we're on the subject, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein zt"l wrote a responsum on a closely related topic decades ago, but his words continue to resonate.

Rav Moshe Feinstein on Women and Tallits>>

Which Rabbanim Wear Techelet?

At a recent conference in Jerusalem sponsored by the Ptil Tekhelet Assocation, Varda Meyer Epstein of The Jewish Press spoke with Dr. Ari Greenspan on the topic of techelet. She asked Greenspan which prominent rabbanim wear techelet themselves.

"There’s Rav Zalman Nechemia Goldberg who has actually served as a posek," said Greenspan. "There’s Rav Amram Opman who is one of the dayanim of the Beit Din of the Badatz Eidah Chareidis and Rav Dichovsky on the Beit Din HaGadol of the Rabbanut. The entire Zilberman clan wears tekhelet. And the truth is, as you begin to go into the chareidi world, you begin to find some of the unique, individual thinkers that are looking for truth, and wearing it. Not a lot, but a significant number of chareidim. In the English world, both Rabbi Herschel Shachter and Rabbi Yisroel Belsky of the OU."

Rabbi Moshe Karp was not mentioned. I'm not clear on whether he wears techelet or not.


On the authenticity of Murex trunculus, Ari Greenspan said, "Here’s what I’ll tell you: There is no doubt that this is the color that our ancestors wore. There is no doubt that this is the source that the Romans used — no other source. And there’s no doubt that it was this snail — that the Romans killed people for wearing the color of this snail. There’s also no doubt that there was no other snail that the Romans used and we know for a fact that what we wore is what the Romans wore."

Tallis for the Chassan

When the wedding season goes into full swing, we'll start seeing a lot of orders and inquiries from brides looking for a tallis for the chassan. Today we received an inquiry from a kallah shopping for a traditional black-striped tallis.

I'm shopping for a tallis as a gift to my fiance for my upcoming wedding. We're modern Orthodox Ashkenazim and prefer traditional, long tallitot. He has a blue tallis already, so I was hoping for some recommendations for him in black.
Thanks in advance!
Sharon 

I had a number of suggestions for Sharon.

Chatanim - basic, no frills tallit; very high quality weave

Hamefoar - features a weave with a bit of texture, supple, luxurious fabric

Tashbetz - box weave to keep the tallit in place better on the shoulders; looks slightly more modern, and in my opinion, a bit less elegant

Kmo Turkish - a heavy, dense fabric and unique double-knotted fringes

 

Sometimes the bride (or her parents) will spring for a nice atara, but in most cases they should consult with the groom to make sure he wants to wear a tallit with a special atara.

Cotton Tzitzit

A customer recently asked me whether there is such a  thing as cotton tzitzit strings.

Are tzitzit -- the strings, not the tallit/begged)-- ever made from cotton rather than wool? Thank you, David

Cotton Tzitzit (with wool tzitzit strings)

Tzitzit strings are always made of wool, because according to halacha only wool tzitzit can be used on any begged whatsoever, regardless of the fabric. (In theory, linen tzitzit can be used too, but the custom is not to use linen for either the begged or the tzitzit strings.)

To understand the confusion surrounding the term "cotton tzitzit," refer to this blog post.

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Yellowing Tallit

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Today I got an inquiry from a kallah shopping for a tallis for her chassan. The wedding is still several months away, but she's the type of person who doesn't wait until the last moment. She also seems to be the type of person who thinks ahead, because she asked me about the tallit yellowing, and what can be done about it.

Also are you able to tell me if the Turkish ones, given they are woven in a heavier wool, get yellowy quicker (don't want to be dry-cleaning it every month!)? Or does this happen with all wool tallitot over time and regular washing is required? Are they treated with any bleaching agents or anything like that?
Many thanks in advance,
Suzy

I explained to Suzy that regarding the tallit yellowing, that's the way it goes with wool. And laundering and dry cleaning won't help, it will only hinder. 

Most people I know wash their weekday tallit once or twice a year. Over time, typically hair grease (even if the wearer does not have greasy hair) accumulates on the underside of the tallit, opposite the atara and makes the tallit start to look grimy. The discoloration is not visible to other people, but after a while the wearer starts thinking about taking it to the dry cleaners, and many people do this in the weeks leading up to Pesach.

Obviously a Shabbos-only tallis will stay clean for much longer.

The traditional tallitot we sell are made by Mishkan Hatchelet, which started making their products extra white in recent years, and the fabric undergoes a treatment to help them retain whiteness over time.

Yellowing should not be an issue for a few years, and some tallitot still look okay after ten years or more.

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All-White Tallit

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The all-white tallit looks very elegant and is an accepted custom among many Sephardim. Today we received the following inquiry from a customer in the U.S. looking for an all-white tallit with Sephardic tzitzit:

 

Hello,
What is your best quality all-white, wool tallit? I am looking at the Hamefoar, Beit Yosef, and Malchut. The tzitzit would be tied in accordance with the Sephardic tradition.
When I mention highest quality, I do not necessarily mean heaviest weight since I live in a warm climate.
My current tallit is 25 years old and it’s time for a new one. My old one is 70" x 46" and I would like something a bit bigger, but when I tried a friend's Echt Turkish tallit size 67"x 80" it was much too long in back. I am 6 feet tall.
Steven

I thought long and hard about Steven's question, but I don't really have an answer, because all three of the tallitot he mentioned are top-of-the-line. I suggest that he go with whichever tallit has the features and look he prefers.

Hamefoar - Has a supply, luxurious fabric and satiny stripes

Beit Yosef - not shiny at all; the striping is integrated into the weave, both on the tallit and the atara (neckband)

Malchut - sort of a cross between Hamefoar and Beit Yosef; no shiny striping and the fabric is like Hamefoar; features distinctive fringes, which some people really like, and others don't.

Tallit Sizing

Steven's old all-white tallit is a good benchmark. It's a size 50. From size 50 to size 55 the tallit will hang down in back another 4 inches, from size 55 to size 60 another 4 inches, etc. So he could just put his old tallit on and figure out how many inches he wants to add to the length. To add an extra 8 inches, he would choose a size 60, to add 12 inches a size 70.

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Wholesale Tzitzit - Buying tzitzit strings at bulk prices

We often get inquiries regarding bulk purchases of tzitzit. Sometimes they are peculiar requests, leading me to wonder what the prospective buyer intends to do with them, but generally the purchaser wants to buy tzitzit strings in bulk for a tzitzit-tying project for kids or teens -- either at summer camp, a synagogue program or a Jewish day school project.

Almost invariably they choose are machine-spun tzitzit strings, which are very affordable to begin with, and we offer bulk discounts. We make buying in bulk very convenient: you simply select the quantity you need, and the discount is applied automatically.

       Buy Machine-Spun Tzitzit - Wholesale Prices>>

We purchase the tzitzit at low wholesale prices, and pass the savings on to our customers.

We happened to come across a good wholesale price for thick handspun tzitzit strings recently, so we can offer special discounts for quantity purchases. Contact us for details.