I get dozens of inquiries per week, but today I received some questions from a recent Jewish convert who wanted to learn everything about tallit, tzitzit and tefillin standing on one foot!
Shalom- I am so hoping that you will be able to help me sort all of this out!! We are a newly-converted Conservative family. I have found many Ashkenazim on my family tree. My husband's family is entirely from the Sephardic tradition. My 28 yr old son has also converted. I’m in a tallit, tzitzit and tefillin nightmare. I was okay on outfitting them and getting kippot and turning our home into an observant one, but I can’t make heads or tails out of what my 60 yr old left-handed hubby needs or my right-handed 28 yr old. My husband is 6 foot tall. My son is 6’4. I can’t figure out which Tefillin and which Tzitzits. I bought some at a Jewish bookstore - they are just plain white t-shirt material with the knotted white strings. They want one with blue...but I’m lost. I don’t want to buy the Tefillin for them on Amazon because everyone says they are not Kosher and these are so important, on the other hand I don’t know whether to buy Sephardic or Ashkenazi. Can you please help me?
I explained to her that she should get in touch with a qualified Orthodox rabbi. I am certainly not a rabbi, but I have studied the halachas related to tzitzit and some related to tefillin. I have a lot of expertise in the area of tallits and tzitzit, and some knowledge of tefillin.
I'm posting my reply in full, not just for converts, but because other Jews often have a whole lot of questions on these subjects:
I agree that the tefillin sold for under $200 on Amazon look quite dubious. I know one of the big Amazon sellers, who's based here in Israel. He's observant, and I've always wondered how he can sell tefillin with such questionable kashrut. Apparently he feels that if he adds a "disclaimer" regarding the kashrus, he's covered.
Ashkenazi or Sephardic? It's widely accepted that families follow the husband/father's custom. I'm Ashkenazi and my wife is Sephardic, and our practices and prayers are all according to Ashkenazi customs (although one of my teenage boys seems to be rebelling and "converting" to Sephardic customs). However, that rule of thumb is sometimes a bit different when it comes to converts. You really should discuss it with a rabbi (so again, where do you live?).
Once you know whether you should be following Ashkenazi or Sephardic, it gets easier. People get confused ordering tefillin because if you're right-handed you wear tefillin on your left hand, and vice-versa. To avoid any possibility of confusion, on our website you select "I am right-handed" or "I am left-handed." If figured that leaves no room for uncertainty, but I was wrong: a few weeks ago a customer wrote, "I am right-handed, and so I wear tefillin on my left hand. Which option should I choose?"
Next is tallit sizing. In conservative congregations you'll see that some people wear a narrow tallit resting on their neck with all four corners hanging in front (size 24 or 36), while others wear a larger tallit, traditional-style, draping down the back with two corners in front and two in back (sizes 45, 50, 55, 60, 70, 80). My guess is that you'll husband will want a size 70, but I could be wrong. Refer to our Tallit Size Wizard.
Now for tzitzit. The Torah says you must put tzitzit on your four-cornered garments. Besides a tallit worn in synagogue ("tallit gadol") many people wear a "tallit katan" in order to keep the mitzvah all day. These may be made of wool or cotton (see here and here). My guess is that the type you bought at the local Jewish bookstore are the ones we sell on this page.
A note on terminology: a tzitzit garment is called a tallit katan (or tallis katan) or arba kanfos, but some people will simply say tzitzit, i.e. if they say "I need to buy new tzitzit" they probably mean they want a new tallit katan (including the tzitzit), not just a set of tzitzit strings to tie themselves. This leads to some confusion. Online you'll find "cotton tzitzit," which really means a cotton tallit katan with wool tzitzit strings, and "wool tzitzit," which really means a wool tallit katan with wool tzitzit strings. (Today about 99% of all kosher tzitzit strings produced are made of wool.)
The next question is what tzitzit do you put on the garment (sometimes referred to as the "beged")? Most cotton tallit katan garments come with machine-spun tzitzit tied Ashkenazi as the default option. This is definitely the least expensive option, but a lot of people upgrade the tzitzit to hand-spun thin, medium or thick. If you want them tied according to any tying custom other than Ashkenazi, that can only be done with hand-spun tzitzit.
Then a lot of people want to go with blue tzitzit ("techelet" or "tekhelet"). This is what the Torah requires, beyond any doubt, as stated very clearly in the third paragraph of Kriat Shema. For many centuries the masora (tradition) for the proper dye was lost. Over the past 50 years or so a lot of work was done to uncover the proper dye and there is a wide consensus that Murex trunculus (almost always produced by a company called Ptil Tekhelet) is the correct dye. However, you'll still see that most people have all-white tzitzit. How can that be? That's a loaded question. In my opinion, simply because people are slow to change -- which is good, because it helps ensure that Jewish tradition gets handed down faithfully through the generations.
There is also a blue dye produced from cuttlefish called Radzyn Techelet. In recent years fewer and fewer people hold that this is the correct dye.
Techelet is expensive! If it's important to you and you want Ptil Tekhelet, ask me for some tips on how to make it affordable.
I realize this is a whole lot of information to absorb all at once. You might want to print out this email and some of the links, and go through it on Shabbat with your family. Don't think that most Jews know all this stuff! Many know very little about tzitzit, techelet, tefillin, etc. and have a whole lot of questions when they set out to make purchases.
Based on your time and energy, here are some more links you might find useful. Shabbat Shalom.
On the discovery of the techelet dye:
